Shiny Happy People

Cordelia

Connor, we're having a baby.

Angel

We don't know if it's really Cordy.

Fred

Or what she's got baking in her oven.

Gunn

Evil and pregnant? I'm guessing it ain't cookies.

Cordelia

Took you long enough to figure it out.

Angel

Connor, wait!

(reaches his hand to Cordelia) Come on! (Cordelia takes his hand)

Cordelia

Maybe there's another way. A way to bring our baby into the world now.

How?

Cordelia

I'll need some very special things.

Cordelia

It's coming. (laughs) The beginning of a new world.

Angel

She lied to you, Connor.

Angel

I'm so sorry.

Angel

Oh, my God. (drops to his knees) You're beautiful.

(smiles) Angel.

(looks around, smiles) Oh, it's all so—

Angel

Unworthy?

(smiling) Wonderful. (kneels beside Cordelia) Cordelia, thank you for protecting me and nourishing me. Your spirit has been my shelter, but you can rest peacefully now. I'm here.

That's all she wanted—to give you life.

And I can feel all of it: (smiles) the cold floor, the air, (stands) this skin. Everything is perfect.

Angel

(frowning, looks up at the woman) No, it's not. I came here to kill you. (hands her his sword) I should be punished.

(takes the sword) Angel, I can feel your suffering, (raises the sword) but now that suffering is going to end.

9 INT. HOTEL / ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - NIGHT Fred is obsessively gathering up books from the office floor. Lorne is sitting on the desk straightening the bankers lamp on it.

Fred

We should've done this a long time ago. I don't know what I was thinking letting these books be all unorganized.

Lorne

Well, one does tend to let the housekeeping slide during an Apocalyptolite. (turns on the desk lamp) Hey, honey, all this to-ing and fro-ing is making me edgy...er.

Fred

(hears a buzzing noise) What's that?

Lorne

Oh, relax. It's just a buzz saw. Nothing to get worked up over. It's Gunn and Wes down in the basement. They're dismembering that armor-plated demon, Skip.

Fred

Oh, right. Well, there's been an awful lot of dismembering going on in that basement lately, if you ask me.

Lorne

Well, it's been a busy month.

Fred

God, why'd it have to be her?

Lorne

I think you skipped a groove, darlin'.

Fred

Cordelia. Why couldn't the Beastmaster have chosen some horrible evil awful person to be its vessel?

Lorne

Wouldn't have been much in the way of camouflage.

Fred

He's been gone so long.

Lorne

Y-you shifted gender pronouns, sweetheart. Not that I'm judging—

Fred

Angel. Do you think he found them?

Lorne

Them being...?

Fred

Connor and Cordy.

Lorne

Well...uh....

Fred

Or maybe he got there too late, and she already had it?

Lorne

And by "it," you must mean—?

Fred

The baby. Or, hell spawn or whatever it is. (Lorne shakes his head and sips his drink) Skip said the Beastmaster was using Cordelia to give birth to itself. What if Angel didn't get there in time to stop it? Or, worse, what if he did get there in time? Do you think he'd actually...you know?

Lorne

Dismember mama? (chuckles nervously)

Fred

Would Angel really kill Cordelia?

Lorne

To save the world?

Fred

(looks out into the lobby) Son of a bitch! (grabs a knife and runs out to the lobby)

Lorne

(stands) OK, not that I was expecting a transition, but still... (follows Fred into the lobby)

Fred

(holds the knife at Connor) Drop it, junior.

Lorne

Fred, don't get too close.

(calmly) Drop it? (smiles)

Fred

You heard me. Drop the knife.

But, you're always after me to clean up after myself. I was just gonna put it away.

Fred

(squints, looks closer at him) Uh, are you still evil-ish? 'Cause I'm confused.

Angel

Guys, it's OK. He's with me.

Fred

(sees Cordelia lying on the couch) Oh, my God. (runs to her side) Cordelia. She's not—

Angel

No, she's not dead. She's just resting. She's in a peaceful place.

Fred

No, I meant...she's not pregnant.

Angel

Oh. No. Not anymore.

Wesley

Then you were too late? The thing was born?

Lorne

I'm guessing it wasn't a chubby little cherub, huh?

Angel

Not exactly.

Gunn

But you killed it? It's dead, right?

Angel

(backs up) I—I tried. I was going to. I just, uh— (sits down on the steps and weeps)

You got to stop torturing yourself, dad. He was like this all the way back in the car.

Wesley

It escaped, then?

Angel

Disappeared. Didn't even say goodbye.

Fred

Is that, like, baby evil?

Wesley

I imagine we're not talking about a baby.

No.

Gunn

OK, so what are we dealing with?

Fred

Eight legs, three heads, horns...?

Lorne

Hey!

Fred

No, offense.

Two legs, one head, no horns.

Lorne

Lemme guess: green?

Angel

(stands, smiles) No. Kind of... mocha. We need to find her.

Wesley

Agreed.

Gunn

Hope this thing's easier to kill than the Beast.

(follows them) Kill? No. No killing.

Gunn

Since when?

Angel

Since we've all been saved.

Fred

Oh, well, that's, uh, crazy talk.

Angel

(to Connor) They don't understand.

No.

Angel

We don't want to kill her. (takes the axe away from Wesley) We just want to find her so we can worship her. That's all.

She's amazing. You'll go nuts.

Gunn

Yeah, that'll definitely help us relate better.

Angel

(smiles) When you meet her, you'll understand.

Wesley

Angel, whatever you're feeling right now, it's some form of enchantment.

Angel

(looks wistful) Yeah.

Wesley

It's a spell. Think. Even before its birth, this thing controlled Cordelia, caused her to do unspeakable things. It's evil. Remember the Rain of Fire, permanent midnight, all the horrors done in its name—

Lorne

My God.

(smiles) People keep saying that.

Fred

I'm just gonna... (kneels) do this.

For so long, you've all been drowning in the fighting and the pain. I'd like to help...if you'll have me.

Wesley

(kneels) Tell us what to do.

Lorne

Eternal bliss. It suits her.

Fred

Cordelia must be so happy...to be the one who brought you here. What an honor.

(sitting on the bed beside Cordelia) I'm the one who's honored...by Cordelia, and by all of you. I can't tell you how good it is to be back.

Wesley

Back? Then you've been here before?

Yes. In the beginning, before the time of man, great beings walked the earth. Untold power emanated from all quarters—the seeds of what would come to be known as good and evil. But the shadows stretched and became darkness, and the malevolent among us grew stronger. The earth became a demon realm. Those of us who had the will to resist left this place, but we remained ever-watchful.

Gunn

You're a power that... was?

But then something new emerged from deep inside the earth—neither demon, nor God.

Wesley

Man.

And it seemed, for a time, that through this new race, a balance might be restored.

Fred

Guess we really let you down.

But you didn't. It was we who failed you. (stands) We became little more than observers. I could no longer bear to just watch all the suffering. I had to find a way back. But, first I needed a miracle. And so I arranged one. (touches Connor's face) Through you, Angel, through Darla. That is where my parentage began. Two vampires—creatures one human corrupted by darkness. And you with a soul—a miracle already.

Angel

But how?

Through Lorne.

Lorne

Huh?

The day Lorne sent Angel and human Darla into the trials to earn a new chance at life.

Angel

I failed.

No, you earned that life. And there it is. (points to Connor) All these events unfolded that I might reenter this physical plain. I know there's been chaos.

Wesley

All the events we've witnesses these past months, all the madness, it was birth pains.

But the storm has passed.

Lorne

And here comes the sun.

Angel

And Cordelia—will she wake up?

If we take hold of the world, strip away the thorns, win the battle—then, yes, I think she will.

Fred

How do we do that?

One evil at a time. Much damage has been done in my name. There are demons, forces of hate, all over this city.

Fred

We're going to destroy them.

We're going to change the world.

Angel

Finally.

Angel

An ass whoppin'?

(walks past the fighting men, talks to Fred) Sit with me.

Fred

Do you think we should?

I have nothing to fear. (they sit)

Fred

OK.

No, what're we going to call me?

Fred

You don't have a name!

No.

Fred

You should have a name.

Yes.

Fred

I don't know. I can't imagine one word, you know, summing you up. I mean, you're a superior being. Shouldn't you— Don't you want to choose it yourself?

No one born to this earth can choose their own name. They are named by those who love them. There are some rules even I must follow.

Fred

(nearly in tears) I'm so sorry. It's all my fault.

I'll be fine. You tried to caution me. I should have listened.

Angel

(chases the vampire down an alley, out of the back of the building) Hey! You hurt her, you scum!

Dad! (throws Angel a stake)

Over there!

Angel

It's all right. It's over. You're safe now.

Wh— wha— (turns, sees woman) aw! (falls to her knees)

Everyone, please, stand up. If you wish to honor me, honor each other. We are all one.

(to the woman) You're hurt.

(smiles) I'll be all right. Everything will be all right.

All my life, so empty. That's over now, isn't it?

Yes, Margaret, it's over. I know you. I know you all. I've come here for you to bring you the gift of peace. You will be freed from the pains you've suffered. The world will change forever, and you will know the power of my love. The chaos will fade, and harmony will reign.

Monster. It has to die!

13 EXT. BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT Resume. Angel is in vamp facade, pummeling the young man that attacked the woman, punching him repeatedly in the face.

(touches Angel's shoulder) Angel, that's enough. (Angel's vamp face recedes)

(crying) Don't you see it? (shakes his head) No. (the woman reaches her hand toward the young man's face) Don't you touch me!

(lays her hand on his face) Poor thing. (to Wesley) Wesley.

Wesley

I'll call an ambulance. (walks away)

All of you, so loving, so strong. How can I ask you to understand that a man like this, so full of fear, anger, so along—he will always be alone, but we have found each other.

Gunn

What about... Helen?

Wesley

Helen.

Gunn

It's got a ring.

Wesley

Yes, it does. However, something along the lines of... Dianthia or Iphigenia.

Gunn

Those are some long lines.

Wesley

Or Aristophila, which means—

"Supreme lover of mankind." (smiles) That's lovely.

Gunn

Well, Helen was my grandma's name.

Helen is beautiful as well.

Wesley

All right. What about—

Gunn

"Clorox, she bleaches away the hate."

Wesley

Probably best we avoid brand names.

Gunn

(nods) Mm-hmm.

Fred

No, I—I meant the shirt. (to the woman) know I can get this stain out.

It's not important, Fred.

Fred

No, it is. I can make it good as new again.

There's really no need. It's just a shirt.

Fred

But it's yours. And it was on you, on your holy bodiness. And it's my fault you were attacked.

(still holding a towel to her wounded arm, stands) Nonsense. There is no fault. It was a new and vivid experience. To be able to bleed, feel things, anything—even pain—is a gift. You people take your senses for granted.

Fred

Club soda. (runs out of the room)

Gunn

(chuckles) May as well let her do her thing.

Wesley

Yes, Fred can be quite single-minded when she is focused on a problem.

Gunn

Yeah.

You love her very much—both of you. Don't you see? You both have the same love. That should bring you closer together, not drive you apart.

(walks into the room carrying bandages) I'm sorry you were hurt.

Oh. (lifts the towel from her wounded arm) Ah. (sees her arm is completely healed)

But there was so much blood.

I heal quickly. It must be a benefit of being a former power, I guess. (smiles)

What was wrong with that man? Why did he want to hurt you?

I'm not sure. Some people can't accept change. It scares them, and that fear becomes hatred, and they take that hatred out on others... (looks toward the garden door) or sometimes on themselves.

That fragrance... It's lovely. What is it?

Angel

Must be the jasmine.

Oh, night blooming. So beautiful, so lonely...like you.

Angel

(looks up at her, then away) I shamed you.

No.

Angel

I did. I almost killed that man. I think I would have if—

Angel, you were only trying to protect me. There can be no shame in that.

Angel

I don't want to fail you again.

Then don't.

Angel

It's not that simple.

Why isn't it?

Angel

'Cause...what I'm feeling.

You must let go of your anger towards that poor soul.

Angel

No, not anger...happiness. (woman smiles) I'm so happy that you're here.

And that's a problem?

Angel

For me, yes. (looks away) If I get too happy, if I allow myself to feel what I'm feeling, (nearly in tears) Angelus might—

I know. But soon none of that will matter. Evil will be banished by the deeds we will do, Angel. Even the evil that's inside of you. That too will be gone, and all that will be left is the beauty.

Angel

Eradicate all evil.

Yes.

Angel

Is that even possible? We've been fighting for so long. (shakes his head)

I know. I've seen it all. It's why I've come back. (tilts Angel's head up) You are my general. I have faith in you.

Angel

You... have faith in me?

(looks up to the patio where the others have gathered) I have faith in all my warriors, each and every one of you. You are all up to the task.

(on television) After several weeks of sky-rocketing homicide rates, finally this week a dramatic decrease in southland murders. The Sheriff's Department spokesman attributes the drop to their new "Tough on Crime" policy instituted last month—

Angel

(turns off the television) Hm. A little "Credit for the Divinity Behind the Scenes" policy wouldn't suck. (smiles at the woman)

It's not important who gets the credit. What matters is that we're winning.

Wesley

If we keep going at this rate—

Gunn

L.A.'s gonna be one big, fat no-demon zone. Hello, Garden City.

Angel

(to the woman) You never doubted us. Not for a second.

There's no room for doubt, Angel. Only love.

Hey, we made the news. Dramatic decrease in southland murders this week.

Lorne

Oh, hey, so much for that nagging apocalypse. (to the woman) Hey, uh, speaking of dramatic, I've got a smidge of surprise for you...upstairs.

Surprises. They're one of my favorite things about being human. (Lorne giggles, he and the woman leave)

Angel

Isn't she—

Yeah.

Gunn

A miracle.

Fred

(walks into the room) Well, I tried. (holds up a shirt) What do you think?

Wesley

It looks brand new.

Fred

(cries) It is. I—I bought a new one. (sits)

Wesley

Even better.

Fred

(crying) I know.

Angel

What's the matter? She'll love it.

Fred

I know, but she's not here.

Gunn

She's just upstairs.

Fred

Yes, but, (holds the shirt to her chest) when she's not around, (sobs) I hurt.

Oh, Lorne...

Lorne

It's, uh, it's too diva, isn't it? Diva, deity—it's a thin line.

It's lovely. There's that wonderful smell again— (walks up to a vase full of flowers) jasmine. Oh, really, Lorne. It's more than I could ask for.

Lorne

Oh, well, I'm as tickled as, uh, someone so tickled they're out of similes.

Thank you again, Lorne. (Lorne walks out of the room, but leaves the door open; Connor paces outside) You're troubled. Come in, Connor. Tell me what's bothering you.

(enters the room) I— I can't.

Of course you can. You can tell me anything.

Cordelia used to say that to me. It's just—having you here, I finally know why I was created. For you—to help bring you here.

That and so much more.

But, I don't deserve—I shouldn't be so happy. I've done things. I betrayed my dad, hurt people...

I know... all of it. I've watched you—not just these past days—but all your life and before. Connor, you deserve all the happiness I can bring you.

(smiles slightly) Why me?

I needed a unique soul to help create me. Yours. Even before you were born, I chose you to be my father. And now we're going to transform the world.

But my father—he's the champion.

Everything has its season. It's your time, Connor. Your destiny.

Fred

(walks into the room holding the shirt up and scrutinizing it) Hi, I know it's not the exact same shirt, but it's pretty close, and I scrubbed the other one 'til my fingers bled, but I couldn't get out the— (looks up at the woman and sees a horrifying vision of maggot-infested decaying bloody flesh where the woman's face should be) blood.

19 INT. ROOM AT HOTEL / ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - NIGHT Resume. Fred stares in horror at the disgusting face of the woman. Maggots crawl in and out of the bloody eye-sockets of the woman's rotting face. Fred is frozen with fear.

Fred? Is something wrong?

Fred

(cries) I—I'm sorry.

I'll get her some water. (stands)

Fred

(gasps, puts her hands out to stop Connor from leaving the room) No, don't. I mean, I'll be fine.

Gunn

Sounds like someone's—

Lorne

What? What's all the booing and hooing, sweet pea?

Wesley

Fred, there's no reason to cry. She's right there.

Fred

(crying) I—I know. I just started thinking what it would be like if you weren't here, and I guess I kinda lost it.

I'm not going anywhere, Fred. You can trust in that.

Fred

(closes her eyes) I think I just... (backs herself toward the door) need some time alone to...you know, count my blessings 'cause there's so many, and it's good to, um, take stock. (leaves the room crying)

Fred

Cordelia, it's me. I'm here. Hello? Remember before the big brain suck and Lorne read you, and it was all scary, headachy pukiness? What if that's all true? Only worse, 'cause we don't even know to fight back, not even Angel. Cordelia, I wish you could—

Fred

(stands) You do?

Angel

(walks into the room) Sometimes, when I look in her eyes, I've seen it too. It's overwhelming. The lies, the deceit...just melts away. (smiles) Nothing left but the beauty.

Fred

(looks away) Um...yeah, it's...incredible.

Angel

(walks up to Cordelia) I can't believe I almost... Seems like a lifetime ago.

Fred

(shakes her head) It's all so different from what we expected.

Angel

Big, hideous evil trying to end the world? (smiles) Nice to be wrong.

Fred

Yeah, and now that she's here, everything just... seems so easy.

Angel

I know. Feels like a dream.

Fred

Mm-hmm. But have you noticed how we all just kinda do what she says, don't ask questions?

Angel

Isn't it a relief? Constant questioning—it's finally over.

Fred

Um, hi. Um, yes. I'm looking for a patient—a man. He was brought in Thursday, named Stover.

(looks at Fred) Are you a family member?

Fred

Am I—? Yes. I have a family. I'm a member. (nurse looks at Fred again) He's my brother. Father. My father's brother.

(looking at the computer) I have a Stoller.

Fred

Half-brother. Uncle. Half-uncle. Stoller. That's it. Please, I—I need to know if he's all right.

Dr. Keller treated him.

Fred

Is he still here?

He was transferred to— (looks at the computer, surprised) Oh.

Fred

John? John Stoller?

(doesn't look toward Fred) Go away.

Fred

John, I have to ask you...Do you have a history of mental— What I mean to ask is, uh, have you been in this particular ward before?

You mean, am I crazy?

Fred

Well, were you before Thursday?

(tearfully) Leave me alone.

Fred

(walks slowly toward the man) I don't think you're crazy. I think I know what happened. I think I know what you saw because... I saw it too. The woman you attacked—

(shakes head) Not a woman.

Fred

Her face—it's horrible, isn't it? Decaying, blood, things living there.

(crying) You did see it?

Fred

Yes.

Did it touch you?

Fred

What?

(crying) Don't let it touch you.

Fred

(shocked) Sh-sh-she did that to you?

(tries to sit up) Untie me, please. I have to get out of here. I have to finish it.

Fred

Finish what?

She has to die. We have to kill it.

Fred

We? (nervously) No, I—I—uh, I mean, maybe, but, no...

You said you saw it.

Fred

I did.

You've been called too.

Fred

Called?

Called. To the mission.

Fred

Called. (shakes head) No, I... I don't get called. I'm not the called type. I, you know, take messages for my boss. He gets called. Called?

It's our duty. Others won't see. (shakes head)

Fred

You're wrong. If what we saw is true, there are people who will understand, who will help.

(sits up) You've been called.

Fred

No. Like I said, I— (Fred's cell phone rings) OK, that's just eerie. (takes out phone and looks at it) It's Angel. They're probably wondering where I am.

You have to do it.

Fred

(backs out of the room) I—I have to go. Thank you for your time. I'm sorry to have disturbed you.

Don't trust her. Don't trust anyone!

Lorne

We are just excited head over teakettle about this entire event. I-I just can't even believe— (sees Fred) Hey, hey, hey, pumpkin. Where've you been?

Fred

Out. (looks around at all the people) What happened?

Lorne

Oh, she went out for a walk—it was like A Hard Day's Night—everybody followed her back. Isn't it fabulous. (points to someone else) Oh, hey, hey, hey. (to Fred) Excuse me, darling.

Wesley

(to strangers) Can you believe this? (Fred comes up to him) What is it?

Fred

I need you. (pulls Wesley aside) If I told you something—you know, that maybe you didn't want to know even—you'd trust me, right?

Wesley

Of course.

Fred

I...went to see that man from the restaurant. The one who—

Wesley

The attacker? Why?

Fred

That's what I wanted to know—why he would do that. Wesley, he saw something. We both s-saw something. I needed to know if it was the same something.

Wesley

And?

Fred

It was. Wesley, I know you're going to find this hard to accept, but—

Wesley

Rotting flesh? Really?

Fred

You don't believe me.

Wesley

If you say you saw it, I believe you.

Fred

(smiles, relieved) He told me not to tell anyone, but I-I knew if I came to you—

Wesley

You did the right thing.

Fred

You'll help me?

Wesley

Of course I'll help you. Wait here. (walks away)

Fred

I'm sorry. (pulls the crossbow trigger)

25 INT. LOBBY AT HOTEL / ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - NIGHT Resume. Fred shoots the crossbow at the woman, but Angel jumps in front of her, taking the arrow in his shoulder. Connor jumps down after Angel, both landing on the lobby floor. Connor pulls the arrow out of Angel's shoulder and helps him stand. Wesley rushes downstairs.

Lorne

(walks up to Fred) Fred! Are you crazy? What— I mean— (Fred grabs Lorne and puts the dagger to his throat) Fred!

Fred

(to Angel, Connor, and Wes) Don't come near me!

Angel

Put down the knife, Fred.

Fred

I'll kill him!

Gunn

You don't know what you're doing.

Fred

(yells) I'll kill him, Charles!

Lorne

(to Fred) Easy, kiddo, huh?

There's nowhere you can go, Fred. My love will follow you everywhere.

Lorne

(angry) Hey!

Let her go. Now is not the time. We are all gathered here in peace. Let's not let her take that away from us.

Wesley

I can't believe Fred's evil.

Gunn

Should've seen it coming.

Lorne

Nothing like a homicidal maniac to put a damper on an impromptu spiritual gathering. (shakes his head)

What they saw tonight—it's not what I would have wanted, but now they all understand the reality of what hatred can do to a person.

Angel

(walks into the lobby with a bouquet of jasmine) The reality is...we need to find Fred.

(takes bouquet) Thank you, Angel. The scent—it soothes me.

Angel

We leave now. Connor and I can probably still track her. (Connor and Angel walk toward the door)

I know you're all in pain. You trusted Fred, and she betrayed you.

Gunn

(stands) Forget us. She tried to kill you.

And the sadness that brings me is immeasurable.

Lorne

I should've just let her cut my head off. My species—decapitation loophole.

Still might've stabbed you, let you bleed to death.

Angel

(paces) Why didn't I see it?

Angel, none of us did. You can't blame yourself.

Angel

(sits) She was acting weird earlier, and I just thought it was Fred being Fred.

Wesley

That man at the hospital—I'm still shocked she would go to see him.

Gunn

Once he had her there, (shrugs) must've monkeyed with her brain somehow.

Maybe he made her do it, (shrugs) with magic or something.

I doubt even Fred understands why she's so determined to destroy everything we're trying to create, which makes her even more dangerous.

Angel

We have to kill her. (everyone sighs at the thought) There's no other way.

Wesley

As long as she's out there, she's a threat.

It may come to that. But first, we have to try to help her. Get to the root of the hatred that's infected her heart.

Angel

The only way to do that is to bring her home. (stands) Let's go.

No. We'll find Fred, but not tonight. Tomorrow will be easier than today. We'll have eyes everywhere.

Here you go. Looks like you just lost your best friend.

Fred

All of them. I never thought—

Yeah, well, that's life in the big city. (hands her a bill)

Welcome back. Chef Arnold Michske will join us later, but right now, we have the most amazing surprise. Please join me in welcoming a very special visitor: Jasmine!

Good morning, Los Angeles. (Fred looks up at the TV when she hears the woman's voice; the woman, Jasmine, is wearing a sprig of jasmine flowers in her hair) Thank you for inviting me. This is a special day.

We want to know everything about you. Start at the beginning.

Trish, in the beginning, before the time of man, great beings walked the Earth. Untold power emanated from all quarters—the seeds of what would come to be known as good and evil. Yet there was a balance. But the shadow stretched...