Xander So, here it is. The latest in state-of the art combat technology. I gotta say, it doesn't look that complicated.Buffy So you can repair it?Xander Sure. Just as soon as I get my master's degree in advanced starship technology.
Willow Well, why don't we experiment? Press some buttons, see what happens.Giles Well, I'd like to veto that.Xander Second. It's called a blaster, Will. A word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgasmator, I'd be the first to try your basic button-press approach.
Xander“If I blow a hole in my Mom's azalea patch, the neighbors will not be pleased. ”
Buffy“Why, because ray-guns aren't in the Slayer Handbook? ”
Buffy“He's the Terminator without the bashful charm. ”
F
Forrest“The shish kabob that walks like a man. Looks like you're feeling better, walking around and threatening people and all that. ”
Willow Spread out?Buffy Not too far.Xander So not a problem.
Buffy I've never seen anything like that.Xander And I can go a long, healthy stretch without seeing anything like that again.
Buffy He's studying biology - human, demon, whatever he can get his hands on and tear apart.Willow Learning what makes things work.Xander I really don't want to be around for the final exam.
Xander Question: will hiding in a cabin with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of this plan?Buffy No.Xander Told you.
Willow What's first?Buffy Riley. I'm not leaving him down there with the people that created this thing. I don't care how many guns they have, I'm going in. Okay. Will, I need you to hack into their security mainframe and buy me a ten minute shut down of operation systems.Willow That could be...Buffy Tricky. Not impossible. If you can't do it online, then use magic. Xander, any gear you've been saving for a rainy day, I want you to give to me.Xander You want stealthy stuff?Buffy No, we tried sneaking in. This time, we're gonna use force. I figure I'll go in through the elevator shaft, use the cable as towlines. Then blast open the facility doors and find the infirmary.Riley Am I really worth all that?
Buffy Oh god, I'm sorry, did I hurt you?Riley No. A giant skewer through the ribcage hurt me. That was just a reminder.
Xander“That's great, Riley, and, you know, there's no polite way to ask you this, but, uh... did they put a chip in your brain? ”
Willow“Tell you what - you two crazy kids take down an unstoppable killer cyber-demon hybrid thingy, and we'll call it all even. ”
Riley All I had in there was... this one little part of you.Buffy It's just the scarf part of me, really.
Buffy Giles used to be part of this Council. And for years, all they ever did was give me orders.Riley Ever obey them?Buffy Sure. The ones I was going to do anyway.
Riley“I just suck at the whole gray-area thing. ”
Riley What are you doing?Buffy I am looking for brain-washy chips in your head.Riley Finding any?
Xander“I'd say this qualifies for a "Worst Timing Ever" award. ”
Xander“I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic. ”
Willow Oh, I have an idea. Beat the crap out of her.Xander Good plan.
Willow What about the Council?Xander Been there, tried that. Not unlike smothering a forest fire with napalm, as I recall.Giles Well, the Initiative, they do have containment facilities.Xander One word: evil!
Buffy We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling...Xander Who she's doing.
Giles Perhaps there's some form of rehabilitation we just haven't thought about.Willow And if not, ass-kicking makes a solid Plan B.
Willow Any luck?Buffy I couldn't find her. Don't know exactly where to place that on the luck continuum.
Buffy If I were her, I'd get out of Dodge, post-hasty.Faith You're not me.
Buffy I've been looking for you.Faith I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard you look?
Faith That's the thing about a coma. You wake up all rested and rejuvenated, and ready for payback.Buffy So much for pleasantries, huh?Faith What'd you think, I'd wake up and we'd go for tea? You tried to gut me, Blondie.
Faith“I wake up to find this blond chick isn't even dating the guy she was so nuts about before. I mean, she's moved on to the first college beefstick she meets. And not only has she forgotten about the love of her life, she's forgotten all about the chick she nearly killed for him. So that's my dream. That and some stuff about cigars and a tunnel. ”
Willow Thanks for coming with. Hunting for a psychopathic super-bitch is definitely in the above-and-beyond category.Tara It's okay, really. So, what do we do if we find her?Willow Run. Flee. Maybe skedaddle.
Willow What?Tara You said recon. You're, like, cool monster-fighter.Willow Well, technically, Faith isn't a monster. And as far as fighting, I'd be lucky to bruise her fist with my face.
Willow She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going, "Ooh, check me out. I'm wicked cool. I'm five-by-five."Tara Five-by-five? Five what by five what?Willow See, that's the thing. No one knows.
Tara So, we recon till nightfall?Willow Then the ritual hiding begins.
Spike Is this bird after you?Xander In a bad way, yeah.Spike Tell you what I'll do, then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are, and then watch... as she kills you. Can't any one of your damned little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?
M
Mayor Wilkins“But on the other hand, heck, maybe we won. And right now, I'm on some jumbo monitor in the Richard Wilkins Museum, surrounded by a bunch of kids sitting Indian-style and looking up at my face, filled with fear and wonder. Hi, kids! ”
M
Mayor Wilkins“Surprise! See, you don't get these in any gumball machine. ”
M
Mayor Wilkins“Just because it's over for my Faith, doesn't mean she can't go out with a bang. ”
Riley Do I look like I'm arguing?Buffy Not yet. But you always make that innocent face right before you start.Riley Figured that out, huh? Damn. Took Mom twelve years to catch that one.
Buffy“And did I mention the psycho-killer part? ”
Faith“"Ruby Sunset"... "Burgundy Skyline"? "Harlot." Mm, way to go, Joyce. ”
Faith“Now normally I wouldn't be going for something this dark. But I read in some magazine that eight months in a coma will damage a girl's natural skin tone. Good thing pale is in this year. Or was it last year? ”
Faith Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?Joyce I promise.Faith Okay. How do I look?Joyce Psychotic.Faith Hmmm, I was shooting for sultry, but hey...
Faith You're thinking, "You'll never get away with this!" Warm?Joyce Actually, I was thinking my daughter is going to kill you soon.Faith That a fact?Joyce More like a bet.Faith Whoa. You got a pair on you, Joyce. I like seeing that in a woman your age.
Faith“I know what it's like. You think you matter. You think you're a part of something and you get dumped. It's like the whole world is moving but you're stuck. Like those animals in the tar pits. It's like you just keep sinking a little deeper everyday and nobody even sees. ”
J
Joyce“Were you planning to slit my throat any time soon? ”
Xander So, here it is. The latest in state-of the art combat technology. I gotta say, it doesn't look that complicated.Buffy So you can repair it?Xander Sure. Just as soon as I get my master's degree in advanced starship technology.
Willow Well, why don't we experiment? Press some buttons, see what happens.Giles Well, I'd like to veto that.Xander Second. It's called a blaster, Will. A word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgasmator, I'd be the first to try your basic button-press approach.
Buffy“Why, because ray-guns aren't in the Slayer Handbook? ”
Riley All I had in there was... this one little part of you.Buffy It's just the scarf part of me, really.
Giles Perhaps there's some form of rehabilitation we just haven't thought about.Willow And if not, ass-kicking makes a solid Plan B.
Faith That's the thing about a coma. You wake up all rested and rejuvenated, and ready for payback.Buffy So much for pleasantries, huh?Faith What'd you think, I'd wake up and we'd go for tea? You tried to gut me, Blondie.
Tara So, we recon till nightfall?Willow Then the ritual hiding begins.
Spike Is this bird after you?Xander In a bad way, yeah.Spike Tell you what I'll do, then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are, and then watch... as she kills you. Can't any one of your damned little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?