Kyle Oh, look. It's Buffy and all her friends.Buffy That's a witty.Tor Do you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you?Buffy Just thankful.Rhonda Were you this popular at your old school? Before you got kicked out?Tor Careful! She might beat you up!
Xander Hey! Buffy!Willow You missed it!Buffy Missed what?Xander We just saw the zebras mating! Thank you, very exciting...Willow It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!Buffy And I missed it. Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on.
Willow Where were you?Buffy Uh, I was looking at the fishes.Willow Was it cool?Buffy It was fishes.
Xander I'm feeling that you're not in the field trip spirit here.Buffy Well, it would... It's nothing, I... We do the same zoo trip at my old school every year. Same old, same old.Xander Buffy, this isn't just about looking at a bunch of animals. This is about not being in class!Buffy You know, you're right! Suddenly the animals look shiny and new.Xander Gotta have perspective.
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Mr Flutie What's going on here? I've had it up to here with you four! What're you doing?Kyle Nothing.Mr Flutie Did I ask you to speak? Okay, I guess I did, but I want the truth. Lance?Lance They weren't doing anything. Really! We were just playin' around.Mr Flutie Alright. I'll be watching you!
Buffy What is it with those guys?Willow They're obnoxious. Professionally.Xander Well, every school has 'em. So, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.
Z
Zookeeper Oh, hold it, hold it, are you blind, or are you just illiterate? Because hyenas are very quick to prey on the weak.Buffy Oh, w-we were just gonna take...Zookeeper You're not going in there. Anyone that does is in a world of trouble.Willow No, no one's going in there.Buffy Why is it off-limits?Zookeeper It's a quarantine. These hyenas just came in from Africa, so keep out. Even if they call your name.Buffy What are you talking about?Zookeeper The Masai tribesmen told me that hyenas are capable of understanding human speech. They follow humans around by day, learning their names. At night, when the campfire dies, they call out to a person. Once they separate him, the pack devours them.
Willow I thought Xander would be here by now.Buffy Hmm, that'd make him on time. We couldn't have that!Willow Did he seem upset at all on the bus back from the zoo?Buffy About what?Willow I dunno. He was quiet.
Buffy I didn't notice anything. But then again I'm not as hyperaware of him as, oh, say, for example, you.Willow Hyperaware?
Buffy Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...Willow 130 over 80!
Buffy You got it bad, girl!Willow He makes my head go tingly. You know what I mean?Buffy I dimly recall.Willow But it hasn't happened to you lately?Buffy Not of late.Willow Not even for a dangerous and mysterious older man whose leather jacket you're wearing right now?Buffy Goes with the shoes!Willow Come on, Angel pushes your buttons. You know he does.Buffy I suppose some girls might find him good looking ... if they have eyes, alright, he's a honey, but... it's just he's never around, and when he is all he wants to do is talk about vampires, and... I, I just can't have a relationship...Willow There he is!Buffy Angel?Willow Xander!
Buffy Okay, now what?Xander You took a bath.Buffy Yeah, I-I often do, I'm actually known for it.Xander That's okay.
Buffy“And the weird behavior award goes to...”
Giles Right! That's enough training for one day.Buffy Well, that last roundhouse was kinda sloppy. Are you sure you don't wanna do it again?Giles No! No, no, that's fine. You just... run along to class. While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms.
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Mr Flutie Lordy, Herbert! Gave Mr. Flutie quite a scare, didn't he? Students, I'd like you all to met Herbert, our new mascot for the Sunnydale High Razorbacks!Buffy He's so cute!Mr Flutie He's not cute. No! He's a fierce Razorback!Buffy He doesn't look mean, Mr. Flutie.Mr Flutie He's mean, he's ready for action! See? Here are the tusks ... the scary Razorback!Buffy You're right. He's a fine mascot and will engender school spirit.Mr Flutie Uh, he better. Costs a fortune to feed him. Alright, let's get you back into your cage.Mr Flutie This way.
Xander I'm not getting this.Willow It's simple, really. See - The bisector of a vertex is the line that divides the angle at that vertex into two equal parts.Xander It's like a big blur, all these numbers and angles.Willow It's the same stuff from last week. You had it down then.Xander Why do I need to learn this?Willow 'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math?Xander Explain the part where that's bad.Willow You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this. Do you have a headache?Xander Yeah, and I think I know what's causing it. Ah! That's better, it goes right to the source of the pain.Willow Xander...Xander Look, forget it, okay? I don't get it. I won't ever I don't care.Willow We can finish this another time.
C
Coach Harrold“Alright, it's raining, all regular gym classes have been postponed, so you know what that means: dodgeball! Now, for those of you that may have forgotten, the rules are as follows: you dodge.”
C
Coach Harrold“God, this game is brutal. I love it!”
Willow Xander... What's wrong with you?Xander I guess you've noticed that I've been different around you lately.Willow Yes.Xander I think, um... I think it's because my feelings for you have been changing.Xander And, well, we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something. I've, um... I've decided to drop geometry. So I won't be needing your math help anymore. Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again!
Buffy“You gonna say something to me?”
Xander“Let's do lunch.”
Willow I've known him my whole life, Buffy. Well, we haven't always been close, but he's never...Buffy I think something's wrong with him.Willow Or maybe there's something wrong with me.Buffy What are you talking about?Willow C'mon. He's not picking on you. He's just sniffing you a lot. I don't know, maybe three isn't company anymore.Buffy You think this has something to do with me?Willow Of course.Buffy No. That still doesn't explain why he's hanging out with the dode patrol. Something's going on. Something weird.Willow What're you gonna do?Buffy Talk to the expert on weird.
Giles Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?Buffy Uh-huh.Giles And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?Buffy Yes.Giles And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.Buffy It's bad, isn't it.Giles It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Course, you'll have to kill him.
Buffy Giles, I'm serious.Giles So am I. Except for the part about killing him. Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will, however, get over it.
Buffy“I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to Scully me.”
Buffy“There is something supernatural at work here. Get your books! Look stuff up!”
Buffy“He scared the pig. Well, he did...”
Giles“You're saying that, uh, Xander's becoming a hyena?”
Willow Herbert! They found him.Buffy The pig?Willow Dead. And also eaten. Principal Flutie's freaking out.Buffy Testosterone, huh?
Willow What're you gonna do?Giles Get my books. Look stuff up.
R
Rhonda How is Herbert?Heidi Crunchy!
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Mr Flutie“You're gonna have so much detention, your grandchildren'll be staying after school!”
Buffy Wow! Apparently Noah rejected the hyenas from the Ark because he thought they were an evil impure mixture of dogs and cats.Willow Hyenas aren't well liked.
Willow“Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or, or some ducks?”
Buffy Xander. This is ridiculous. We need to talk.Xander Been waitin' for you to jump my bones.
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Mr Flutie“I have seen some sick things in my life! Believe me! But this is beyond the pale! What is it with you people? Is it drugs? How could you? A poor defenseless pig? What are you doing?”
Buffy Get off of me.Xander Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't you? You like your men dangerous.Buffy You're in trouble, Xander. You are infected with some hyena thing, it's like a demonic possession!Xander Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your mystery guy. Well, guess who just got mean.
Xander Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted ... Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you?Buffy Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you...Xander Now do you wanna hurt me? Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you, the better you smell!
Buffy Hurry up. We gotta get him locked up somehow before he comes to.Willow Oh, my God, Xander! What happened?Buffy I hit him.Willow With what?Buffy A desk.
Buffy He tried his hand at felony sexual assault.Willow Oh, Buffy, the hyena in him didn't...Buffy No. No - but it's safe to say that in his animal state his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti. There - that oughtta hold him. Where's Giles?
Giles The rest of the pack were spotted outside Herbert the mascot's cage. They were sent to the principal's office.Willow Good! That'll show 'em. Did it show 'em?Buffy They didn't hurt him, did they?Giles They, uh... ate him.Buffy They ate Principal Flutie?Willow Ate him up?Giles The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow. There was no one at the scene.
Buffy“What we need to do is put the hyena back in the hyena?”
Xander Willow.Willow How are you feeling?Xander Like somebody hit me with a desk. What am I doin' here?Willow You're... resting?Xander You guys got me locked up now.Willow 'Cause you're sick. Buffy said...Xander Oh, yeah. Buffy and her all-purpose solution: punch 'em out 'n' knock 'em down. I'd love to see what she'd do to somebody who was *really* sick.Willow That's not fair. Buffy saved both of our lives.Xander Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?Willow Maybe...Xander When we were alone together... Willow, I know there's something wrong with me. I think it's gettin' worse. But I can't just stand around waitin' for Buffy to decide it's time to punch me out again. Look, I want you to help me. I want you.Willow I am helping you.Xander You're doing what you're told.Willow Buffy's trying to help you, too. You know that. Or Xander does.Xander Yeah... Buffy's so selfless. Always thinking of us. Well, if I'm so dangerous, how come she left you alone with me?Willow I told her to.Xander Why?Willow 'Cause I know you better than she does... and I wanted to be here to see if... you were still you.Xander You know I am. Look at me. Look.Willow Xander...Willow Now I know.Xander LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!
Buffy“Didn't your mom teach you? Don't play with your food.”
Giles Doctor? Uh... zookeeper? Oh! Oh, of course, the, uh, Masai ceremonial garb. Yes... Very good. Are you, uh, otherwise prepared for the trans-possession?Zookeeper Almost.Giles Oh, right! The, uh, sacred circle. Yes, you'd need that to, um... This would be here when... when the children first came. Why would you ... How terribly frustrating for you, that a bunch of school children could accomplish what you could not.Zookeeper It bothered me. But the power will be mine.
Willow What is this?Zookeeper A predatory act, remember?Willow Uh, right. You'll pretend to slash my throat and, and put the evil in the hyenas?Zookeeper Something like that.
Giles“Uh, did I miss anything?”
Willow I heard the vice-principal's taking over 'til they can find a replacement.Buffy It shouldn't be too hard to find a new principal. Unless they ask what happened to the last one.Xander Okay, but I had nothing to do with that, right?
Buffy Oh, right.Willow You only ate the pig.Xander I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon or ... Oh, my God! I ate a pig? I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuk!
Buffy Well, it wasn't really you.Xander Well, I remember I was goin' on the field trip, and then goin' down to the Hyena House, and next thing some guy's holding Willow and he's got a knife.Willow You saved my life.Xander Hey! Nobody messes with my Willow.
Buffy“This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes.”
Willow See you at lunch.Xander Cool! Oh, hey, goin' vegetarian! Huh?
Giles I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.Xander Did you tell them that?Giles Your secret dies with me.
Xander Hey! Buffy!Willow You missed it!Buffy Missed what?Xander We just saw the zebras mating! Thank you, very exciting...Willow It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!Buffy And I missed it. Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on.
Willow Where were you?Buffy Uh, I was looking at the fishes.Willow Was it cool?Buffy It was fishes.
Buffy What is it with those guys?Willow They're obnoxious. Professionally.Xander Well, every school has 'em. So, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.
Giles Right! That's enough training for one day.Buffy Well, that last roundhouse was kinda sloppy. Are you sure you don't wanna do it again?Giles No! No, no, that's fine. You just... run along to class. While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms.