Spike You want me, Slayer, come and get me.Buffy Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming right-Harmony -now! What are you thinking?
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Glory“I need a favour. ”
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Glory“Finally. I thought you were gonna nap the whole day away. --- Stop whining. --- You know, I remember when the Lei-Ach were a proud warrior race, not sneaking around hospitals looking for weak sickly types to suck the bone marrow from. But... let's talk about my problems for thirty seconds, if that's perfectly all right with you. Blonde... short... strong for a human... and massively rude! Broke my shoe, took my monk, do you have any idea who I'm talking about? A slayer?? Oh god, please don't tell me I was fighting a vampire slayer! How unbelievably common! If I had friends, and they heard about this... and you know she's going around telling everybody, I mean she probably just--- Pay attention! I am great and I am beautiful, and when I walk into a room all eyes turn to me, because my name is a holy name, and you will listen! Get your friends... find the girl... kill the girl... okay baby? You have the cutest little suppurating sores! Has anyone ever told you that? ”
Buffy No. No one. They-they'd act weird around her, and it's, it's safer for everyone if they don't know.Giles Yes. We have to find out who this woman is, and what she needs Dawn for. I mean, if she comes after you---Buffy She'll come. She'll come for us.Glory Okay. Now I'm upset
Harmony Hi baby!Spike Hello, sweetbreads. Have fun?Harmony Uhh, it was so exciting. You wouldn't believe it. I went to April Fool's, and absolutely everything was on sale.Spike You paid for it?Harmony Oh, no. I just killed the clerk. Still, a bargain's a bargain. Oh, I ran into Carol Beets. You know. She sired Brandon, Brandon from the sewer gang... and she said, the Lei-Ach demon... was recruiting his brethren to kill the slayer!Spike How's that?Harmony Apparently, he got recruited by some big nether-wig and now he's on a mission. You think they might actually do it? Kill her?Spike God, that would be... pleasant.Harmony Well, if they do, I think we should do something. Like a gift basket or something. Where are you going?Spike To get a decent seat. If the slayer's gonna die... I'm gonna watch.
Harmony What are you thinking?Spike All about you, baby.Harmony Aww. You're my little lamb.Giles Come up with anything yet?Xander Well, candles, maybe, or bath oils of some kind.Buffy I saw a really cute sweater at Bloomy's... but, I think I want me to have it.Giles And you are talking about what on earth?Buffy Tara's birthday. We're at a loss.Giles You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
Willow Tell me a story.Tara Okay. Once upon a time, there was, um ... a kitty. She was very little, and she was all alone, and nobody wanted her.Willow This is a very upsetting story.Tara Oh, oh, but it gets better. 'Cause one day the kitty was running around in the street and a man came, and swooped her up... and took her to the pound. And at the pound there were lots of other kitties, and there were puppies, and some ferrets...Willow Were there dolphins?Tara Yes. Many dolphins at the pound.Willow Or was there a camel?Tara There was the front of a camel. A half camel.Willow Did the kitty get chosen by some nice people?Tara Well, now you ruined the ending.
Willow Mmm... I'm sleepy.Tara Do you mind if I keep the light on? I was gonna look up some spells.Willow It's fine. I don't need to be snuggled.Tara Vixen!
Giles I don't know what to say.Buffy Tell me about it.Giles She has no idea?Buffy No. She thinks she's my kid sister.Giles Are you going to tell her?Buffy How can I? She'd freak, and that's the last thing we need.
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Glory“Okay. Now I'm upset. ”
Anya But we just helped her move the stuff in a few days ago... and it was fun!Giles People help each other out, Anya. It's one of our strange customs.Buffy Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called helping.Giles Well, I saw myself in more of a ... patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling. You two, stop that!
Buffy Nothing like gettin' your ass kicked to ... make your ass hurt.Dawn You'll totally take her next time.Xander 'Cause you'll have backup, baby. She's messin' with all of us.Giles Yes, uh, we'll, we'll, uh, find her weaknesses, and then, uh-Tara Yeah. You learn her source, and, uh, we'll introduce her to her insect reflection.Tara Um ... that, that was funny if you, um, studied Taglarin mythic rites... and are a complete dork.Riley Oh, then how come Xander didn't laugh?Xander I don't know that Taglarin stuff.Riley Oh.
Giles Could we perhaps please be a little less effusive, Anya? Don't want to frighten the people.Anya I'm just so excited. They come in, I help them ... they give us money in exchange for goods ... you give me money for working for you ... I have a place in the world now. I'm part of the system. I'm a working gal.
Buffy So, any breakthroughs on the identity of Miss Congeniality?Giles Well, I have narrowed it down some.Buffy Your definition of narrow is impressively wide.
Giles Well, you didn't give me much to go on. She-she looks human, so the mug shots aren't any use, and, uh, you can't be more specific about what she's like?Buffy She was kinda like Cordelia, actually. I'm pretty sure she dyes her hair.Giles Right! That one, of course. Our work is done.
Buffy Think there'll be a lot of Wiccas there, heavy Wiccan crowd?Xander Well, that's sort of her deal. Her and Willow are all Wiccie. Swingin' with the Wiccan lifestyle.Buffy Which is cool.Xander Well, yeah.Buffy I just hope we fit in, not awkward.Xander With Willow it's like, she's got this ... whole new thing in her life. But she's still Willow, so I can always figure her out. But Tara, I just know she likes Willow, and she already has one of those.
Spike You want me, Slayer, come and get me.Buffy Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming right -Harmony -now! What are you thinking?Spike All about you, baby.Harmony Aww. You're my little lamb.
Giles Come up with anything yet?Xander Well, candles, maybe, or bath oils of some kind.Buffy I saw a really cute sweater at Bloomy's ... but, I think I want me to have it.Giles And you are talking about what on earth?Buffy Tara's birthday. We're at a loss.Giles You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.Xander Well, we don't really know ... the kind of things witches like. What, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?Giles Bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.
Xander“Yeah - we're building a race of frog people - it's a good time. ”
Riley I squared away the rest of your stuff. Wouldn't even know you ever left.Buffy Oh, you're a god. You're like the ... god of boyfriends.Riley Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors.Buffy Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.Riley Ooh. Be still my heart.
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Glory Blonde ... short ... strong for a human ... and massively rude! Broke my shoe, took my monk, do you have any idea who I'm talking about?Demon The demon growls and grunts.Glory A slayer?? Oh god, please don't tell me I was fighting a vampire slayer! How unbelievably common! If I had friends, and they heard about this ... and you know she's going around telling everybody, I mean she probably just .. pay attention! I am great and I am beautiful, and when I walk into a room all eyes turn to me, because my name is a holy name, and you will listen! Get your friends ... find the girl ... kill the girl ... okay baby? You have the cutest little suppurating sores! Has anyone ever told you that?
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Sandy This place is such a dive.Riley No no, it's great. You just have to close your eyes, plug up your nostrils, it's fine.Sandy We ... could go somewhere else. Someplace more ... private.Riley Ohhhh, Sandy, Sandy. It's no good. My heart belongs to another. Besides, I don't go out with vampires. Never interested in my intellect.
Harmony Hi baby!Spike Hello, sweetbreads. Have fun?Harmony Uhh, it was so exciting. You wouldn't believe it. I went to April Fool's, and absolutely everything was on sale.Spike You *paid* for it?Harmony Oh, no. I just killed the clerk. Still, a bargain's a bargain. Oh, I ran into Carol Beets. You know. She sired Brandon, Brandon from the sewer gang ... and she said, the Lei-Ach demon... was recruiting his brethren to kill the slayer!Spike How's that?Harmony Apparently, he got recruited by some big nether-wig and now he's on a mission. You think they might actually do it? Kill her?Spike God, that would be ... pleasant.Harmony Well, if they do, I think we should do something. Like a gift basket or something. Where are you going?Spike To get a decent seat. If the slayer's gonna die ... I'm gonna watch.
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Mr. maclay What in god's name is that?Spike Lei-ach demon. Fun little buggers. Big with the marrow-sucking.
Tara I'm sorry. I'm s-s-so sorry. I was, I was trying to hide.Tara I didn't want you to see ... what I am.Willow Tara, what?Buffy What do you mean, what you are?Mr. maclay Demon. The women in our family... have demon in them. Her mother had it. That's where the magic comes from.
Willow Tara ... look at me. I, I trusted you more than anyone in my life. Was all that just a lie?Tara No!Willow Well, do you wanna leave?Mr. maclay It's not your decision, young lady.Willow I know that! Do you wanna leave?Mr. maclay You're going to do what's right, Tara. Now, I'm taking you out of here before somebody *does* get killed. The girl belongs with her family. I hope that's clear to the rest of you.Buffy It is. You want her, Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her. You just gotta go through me.Mr. maclay What?Buffy You heard me. You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.Dawn And me!Mr. maclay Is this a joke? I'm not gonna be threatened by two little girls.Dawn You don't wanna mess with us.Buffy She's a hair-puller.Giles And ... you're not just dealing with, uh, two little girls.Xander You're dealing with all of us.Spike 'Cept me.Xander 'Cept Spike.Spike I don't care what happens.Mr. maclay This is insane. You people have no right to interfere with Tara's affairs. We ... are her blood kin! Who the hell are you?Buffy We're family.
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Donny Daaad. You -- you gonna let 'em just... Tara, if you don't get in that car, I swear by god I will beat you down.Xander And I swear by your full and manly beard, you're gonna break something trying.
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Beth Well. I hope you'll all be happy hanging out with a disgusting demon.Anya E-excuse me. What kind?Beth What?Anya What kind of demon is she? There's a lot of different kinds. Some are very, very evil. And some have been considered to be useful members of society.Beth Well, I-I ... what does it matter?Mr. maclay Evil is evil.Anya Well, let's just narrow it down.Spike Ohhh. Why don't I make this simple. Oww!!Willow Hey! Hey...Tara He hit my nose!Willow And it hurt! Uh, him, I mean.Buffy And that only works on humans.Spike There's no demon in there. That's just a family legend, am I right? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line. Oh, you're a piece of work. I like you.Tara I'm not a demon.Willow You're not a demon.Tara He hurt my nose.Willow Aw.Spike Yeah, you're welcome.
Willow Good birthday?Tara Best birthday.Willow I still can't believe you didn't tell me about your family and all that.Tara I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't wanna be anywhere near me.Willow See ... that's where you're a dummy. I think about ... what you grew up with, and ... then I look at what you are ... it makes me proud. It makes me love you more.Tara Every time I- even when I'm at my worst ... you always make me feel special. How do you do that?Willow Magic.
Spike You want me, Slayer, come and get me.Buffy Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming right-Harmony -now! What are you thinking?
Buffy No. No one. They-they'd act weird around her, and it's, it's safer for everyone if they don't know.Giles Yes. We have to find out who this woman is, and what she needs Dawn for. I mean, if she comes after you---Buffy She'll come. She'll come for us.Glory Okay. Now I'm upset
Harmony Hi baby!Spike Hello, sweetbreads. Have fun?Harmony Uhh, it was so exciting. You wouldn't believe it. I went to April Fool's, and absolutely everything was on sale.Spike You paid for it?Harmony Oh, no. I just killed the clerk. Still, a bargain's a bargain. Oh, I ran into Carol Beets. You know. She sired Brandon, Brandon from the sewer gang... and she said, the Lei-Ach demon... was recruiting his brethren to kill the slayer!Spike How's that?Harmony Apparently, he got recruited by some big nether-wig and now he's on a mission. You think they might actually do it? Kill her?Spike God, that would be... pleasant.Harmony Well, if they do, I think we should do something. Like a gift basket or something. Where are you going?Spike To get a decent seat. If the slayer's gonna die... I'm gonna watch.
Willow Tell me a story.Tara Okay. Once upon a time, there was, um ... a kitty. She was very little, and she was all alone, and nobody wanted her.Willow This is a very upsetting story.Tara Oh, oh, but it gets better. 'Cause one day the kitty was running around in the street and a man came, and swooped her up... and took her to the pound. And at the pound there were lots of other kitties, and there were puppies, and some ferrets...Willow Were there dolphins?Tara Yes. Many dolphins at the pound.Willow Or was there a camel?Tara There was the front of a camel. A half camel.Willow Did the kitty get chosen by some nice people?Tara Well, now you ruined the ending.
Giles I don't know what to say.Buffy Tell me about it.Giles She has no idea?Buffy No. She thinks she's my kid sister.Giles Are you going to tell her?Buffy How can I? She'd freak, and that's the last thing we need.
Anya But we just helped her move the stuff in a few days ago... and it was fun!Giles People help each other out, Anya. It's one of our strange customs.Buffy Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called helping.Giles Well, I saw myself in more of a ... patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling. You two, stop that!
Xander“Yeah - we're building a race of frog people - it's a good time. ”
Riley I squared away the rest of your stuff. Wouldn't even know you ever left.Buffy Oh, you're a god. You're like the ... god of boyfriends.Riley Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors.Buffy Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.Riley Ooh. Be still my heart.
Tara I'm sorry. I'm s-s-so sorry. I was, I was trying to hide.Tara I didn't want you to see ... what I am.Willow Tara, what?Buffy What do you mean, what you are?Mr. maclay Demon. The women in our family... have demon in them. Her mother had it. That's where the magic comes from.