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Angel · Episode 1x07

The Bachelor Party

Overall number
7
First aired (US)
November 16, 1999
First aired (Germany)
February 14, 2001
Writer
Tracey Stern
Director
David Straiton
‹Previous · 1x06Sense and Sensitivity›Next · 1x08I will remember you← All episodes

Summary

Just as Doyle is inches away from finally making a connection with Cordy, his estranged wife shows up at Angel Investigations begging for a divorce so that she can marry the new love of her life. After the initial shock, he consents to the divorce.

Doyle agrees to attend the new groom's bachelor party, but soon finds out that the groom's family have some very unusual customs where ex-husbands are concerned.

Plot

Just as Doyle is inches away from finally making a connection with Cordy, his estranged wife shows up at Angel Investigations begging for a divorce so she can marry the new love of her life. After the initial shock of it all, Doyle agrees to consent to the divorce.

Meanwhile, Angel discovers that the fiancee comes from a long line of pacifist demons, but this doesn't seem to rock anyone's boat. After Doyle consents to the divorce, the fiancee invites Doyle to join his bachelor party.

Unbeknownst to Doyle, the fiancee's family has a ritual to fulfill: the fiancee needs to eat Doyle's brain in order to have a long, successful marriage. As the party proceedings begin, Angel gets suspicious and wanders upstairs. There he discovers these demons may not be as pacifistic as they seem. He is thrown from the restaurant's top floor by some of the groom's family members.

Downstairs, Doyle is about to be eaten with a shrimp-fork, but Angel, Cordy and the fiance arrive on the scene and come to the rescue. Doyle is saved and his ex-wife decides she can't marry this "brain-eater."

Dialogue

DoyleYou know they have trivia games on the Internet now? You can challenge against drunks around the world.
DoyleI can't just sit around here while...
CordeliaWhile I steal into the night with my "incredibly-more-wealthy-than-you" prince?
CordeliaIf I'm not here in the morning, you can just clear out my desk. I'll be moving on up.
DoyleShe's not going to fall for my ample but unpretentious charms, is she?
AngelNot unless "unpretentious" means you don't like to brag about your family's old money.
DoyleHey, the only money in my family is underneath the couch cushions.
CordeliaYou were so…brave.
DoyleYou think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're steppin' on my moment of manliness here.
CordeliaI'm just...
DoyleSurprised?
CordeliaGrateful.
CordeliaSo here I am at Le Petit Renard with Mr. Armani, who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life…
AngelBlue boxes?
CordeliaTiffany's! God!
CordeliaAll I can think of is if this wimp saw a monster, he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
CordeliaAll of a sudden rich and handsome isn't enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault! Both of you!
CordeliaAs if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some...badly dressed super hero.
CordeliaYou know, the first thing he asked? "Are you okay?" I mean, that's like...substance, right?
AngelWell, there's definitely more to Doyle than meets the eye.
CordeliaSo I've got to kill myself. I swore when I went down this road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead than date a fixer-upper again.
CordeliaMaybe Doyle does have hidden depths. I mean, really *really* hidden. But depths. And I'm gonna have to buy him a mochaccino for saving my life.
DoyleHey! I was just...you know...that wasn't...
CordeliaAn incredible spaz attack? Good.
CordeliaI was thinking that maybe I haven't been entirely fair to you. Maybe you don't actually have zero potential.
DoyleWow, Cordelia. Thanks.
CordeliaYou two are really married?
H
HarrietWere and still, according to the paperwork.
CordeliaSo it was a green card thing?
H
HarrietNope. It was a madly in love, couldn't live without each other kind of thing.
R
RichardYou left out the part about him being such a handsome fellow.
AngelI'm not...
R
RichardOh, you are. Really.
AngelI'm not Doyle. He is.
R
RichardOh, that's more like it.
H
HarrietI'm definitely the yin to his yang, but it works. He's got a good heart, Francis, just like you.
DoyleYeah, maybe. But the container -- can I get a side of bland to go with that bland?
DoyleWhen things go wrong and you're young like that, you don't just say "Hey, thanks for the blender. I wish you well." You fight. You tear each other apart until one of you can't take it.
DoyleHe seems like a nice...friendly...fellow, don't you think?
AngelDefinitely friendly. Only, uh, he seemed a bit...
DoyleExactly! I knew he was no good!
DoyleI can't go trailing after her intended myself. It just wouldn't look right. Angel, you think you would...
AngelYeah. Just don't tell Cordelia. She'll want to charge you.
H
HarrietStop!
AngelHe's a demon!
H
HarrietWell, yeah!
DoyleHe's a demon? And she's all signed on to be Mrs. Demon? Tell me again how ugly he is.
DoyleI knew that nice guy routine was just an act. He's working a spell on her. She's gonna sprout hubcaps from her head or something.
AngelThey gave up those orthodox teachings, language, around the turn of the century. Now they own a number of restaurants with pretty expensive windows.
DoyleI fully intend to chip in on that.
H
HarrietRichard wanted some time alone with Doyle to ask him to his bachelor party.
CordeliaBachelor party? Why? Was he afraid he ordered too much beer?
U
Uncle JohnLet's see. First we greet the man of the hour. Then we drink. Bring out the food. Then drink. Then comes the stripper. Darts. And then we have the ritual eating of the first husband's brains. Then charades.
B
Brother 2Wait. What was that? Charades?
R
RichardAngel! Hey, this is a surprise.
AngelYeah, I thought I'd use the door this time.
H
HarrietSometimes I felt like I was one of his students.
CordeliaThat's funny. For a moment, I thought you said one of Doyle's students.
H
HarrietIt wasn't fun being treated like a third grader, believe me.
CordeliaGrade third taught Doyle?!…Doyle taught third grade?! The kind with children?
H
HarrietYeah.
CordeliaAre you sure he wasn't just held back and used that as a cover story?
H
HarrietFrancis got his teaching credentials before we even met at the Food Bank.
CordeliaOkay, soup kitchen. Now that sounds more like the Doyle I've grown to know and revile…You're about to tell me he ran it, aren't you?
H
HarrietHe was just a volunteer. That's where he got the idea for the whole We Are the World thing. I'm kidding about that part.
A
AuntCome on girls. It's pornographic Pictionary time!
H
HarrietTheir ways are not our ways.
AngelIt's Angel. Where are you?
CordeliaIn the netherworld known as the 818 area code.
H
HarrietRichard said having the former husband present was some sort of tradition. I was just wondering…
A
AuntWell, they're certainly not going to eat your ex-husband's brains…for instance.
DoyleLook, Richard, as much as I like your family -- and they're great, honest -- I'd really prefer if they didn't cannibalize me.
R
RichardOh, no. You misunderstand.
DoyleI do?
R
RichardIt'll just be me.
DoyleWhy don't I just give you that hug, and we can call it even?
DoyleYeah, I take it back!
R
RichardOh. Well. I see. Now I'm not so sure I even want to eat your brains.
U
Uncle JohnDon't be petulant, Richard. You'll eat his brains. You can't take back a blessing. Now apologize to your friend.
R
RichardHe's right. That was rude. I'd be honored to eat your brains.
H
HarrietStop it right this instant!
R
RichardHun bun? This is for guys only.
CordeliaWell you shouldn't be trying to eat my friend's brains, you horrible ugly demon people!
H
HarrietOh please, Uncle John. When's the last time you pried yourself away from ESPN long enough to spill the blood of a she-goat?
H
HarrietOne word, Francis. Just one word and I'll eat your brains.
CordeliaWell, someone has to go out there and cheer him up...Oh please. Someone with a heart beat.
CordeliaHi Doyle. Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cuz we already have one of those around the office.
AngelHey!
DoyleHey!
CordeliaHe can get away with it. He's tall, and look at the way clothes hang on him. But you...
AngelOkay. I think you've cheered us up enough.
CordeliaYou can't live in the past. You gotta move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow's another day. Did I mention letting it go?
DoyleTwice.
CordeliaYou'll get through this Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
DoyleYou think I'm a nice guy?
CordeliaI think it; I say it. It's my way.